Grief Counselling Brisbane

Most people will experience grief during the course of their lives. Although grief is a normal human emotion in response to loss, it still can feel overwhelming, deeply distressing, and isolating.

Understanding grief and how to support yourself or others who have experienced loss, can be helpful.

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What is grief?

Grief is the natural emotional, psychological, and physical response to losing someone or something important. Although it is commonly linked to bereavement, grief can arise from a wide range of experiences, including:

The death of a partner, family member, friend or pet
Relationship separation or divorce
Miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility
Loss of health, mobility or independence
Life-changing illness or injury
Job loss or financial stress
Changes in identity, roles or life direction

Research in psychology shows that grief is not a single, predictable process; instead, people move through it in different ways and at different paces. You may experience waves of sadness, anger, numbness, longing, or even moments of relief or calm. All of these reactions are recognised as normal parts of the mind’s attempt to adapt to loss.

Grief vs Depression

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM‑5) recognises grief as a normal, non-pathological response to loss, particularly after the death of a loved one.

Many symptoms of grief can overlap with depression, such as sadness, sleep disturbance, poor concentration, and reduced appetite. However, grief is characterised by waves of sadness connected to thoughts or reminders of the loss, whilst people usually retain the ability to experience some positive emotions, and a preserved sense of self-worth.

In contrast, Major Depressive Disorder tends to involve more persistent low mood, pervasive loss of pleasure, feelings of worthlessness, and broader impairment in functioning.

In situations where the grief response remains persistent, intense, and functionally impairing well beyond typical expectations for the person’s culture, it can become more clinical in nature and can be recognised as Prolonged Grief Disorder.

How can grief and loss affect us?

Grief involved changes in our feelings, thinking, bodily response, behaviours and social functioning.

Emotional responses

Sadness, longing or loneliness
Irritability or anger
Guilt or self-blame
Anxiety or fear about the future
Numbness or disconnection

Cognitive (thinking) changes

Difficulty concentrating
Forgetfulness or confusion
Intrusive memories or worry
Feeling overwhelmed or mentally exhausted

Physical symptoms

Fatigue and low energy
Sleep disturbances
Changes in appetite
Headaches, muscle tension or stomach upset

Behavioural and social changes

Withdrawing from others
Difficulty returning to work or routines
Avoiding reminders of the loss
Seeking comfort through overworking, substance use or distraction

Theories of Grief

The Five Stages of Grief

Developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, describes common emotional reactions people may experience after a significant loss. The model suggests five broad stages, although people do not necessarily move through them in order, and some stages may not occur at all.

These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Continuing Bonds Theory

The Continuing Bonds Theory proposes that grieving does not necessarily mean letting go of the relationship with the deceased.

Instead, many people maintain an ongoing internal connection, such as remembering the person, talking about them, keeping meaningful rituals, or feeling guided by their values. This idea challenged older theories that suggested people needed to “detach” from the deceased to recover.

Meaning Reconstruction Model

The Meaning Reconstruction Model, associated with Robert A. Neimeyer, focuses on how people try to make sense of the loss and rebuild meaning in their lives.

After a significant loss, people may struggle with questions such as “Why did this happen?” or “Who am I now?” Over time, adaptation involves reconstructing personal meaning, integrating the loss into one’s life story, and finding ways to move forward while honouring what was lost.

Attachment-Based Perspectives on Grief

Modern grief theory also draws on Attachment Theory, originally developed by John Bowlby.

From this perspective, grief is understood as the natural response to the disruption of an attachment bond. The intensity and expression of grief can be influenced by a person’s attachment patterns, previous losses, and the closeness of the relationship with the person who died.

Ways to cope with grief

The way a person responds to loss can vary widely depending on factors such as their personality, coping style, previous life experiences, and the nature of the loss itself. For many people, grief gradually becomes more manageable over time as they adapt to life after the loss.

Looking after basic self-care and maintaining daily routines can help provide stability during this difficult period. Support from family, friends, and the wider community can also play an important role in helping people navigate the adjustment to loss.

While most individuals gradually adapt to their grief, some may experience more persistent or complicated reactions.

In these situations, structured psychological support and evidence-based therapeutic approaches can provide valuable assistance in helping people process the loss and move forward.

1. Maintain Daily Routines

Keeping regular sleep, meals, and exercise schedules can provide a sense of stability and normalcy.
Research shows routines help regulate mood and reduce stress during periods of loss.

2. Physical Activity

Gentle exercise, walking, yoga, or stretching can reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms associated with grief.
Even short bouts of activity can improve mood and energy levels.

3. Expressive Writing or Journaling

Writing about emotions, memories, or the relationship with the person who has died can help process grief.
Studies support journaling as a tool to clarify feelings and facilitate meaning-making.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Practices

Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or guided imagery can reduce emotional overwhelm.
Evidence from mindfulness-based interventions shows these approaches help manage grief-related anxiety and rumination.

5. Connect with Supportive People

Spending time with friends, family, or support groups provides emotional validation and practical assistance.
Social support is consistently linked to better grief adjustment in research.
You might also get practical support to help with tasks such as cleaning or meal preparation whilst you are coping with grief.

6. Rituals and Remembrance Activities

Lighting a candle, visiting meaningful places, creating memory boxes, or celebrating anniversaries can help maintain a continuing bond.
Structured remembrance is associated with better emotional integration of the loss.

7. Engage in Meaningful or Valued Activities

Returning to hobbies, volunteering, or small creative projects can help people reconnect with purpose.
Evidence shows meaningful engagement supports adaptation to loss.

8. Professional Support When Needed

Seeing a psychologist or counsellor trained in grief therapy can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process emotions.
Targeted interventions (e.g., CBT, ACT) are shown to reduce complicated grief symptoms.

Who should seek grief counselling?

Anyone can seek support at any stage of grief. You may find it helpful if you are:

Feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions
Noticing that your grief is affecting your work, family or health
Feeling stuck, numb or unable to move forward
Unsure how to support children or family members
Experiencing distress that is impacting on your functioning in a prolonged way
Coping with multiple losses or life transitions
If a doctor has suggested you might have a diagnosis of depression or prolonged grief disorder.