As we enter 2025, many feel the familiar pull to transform our lives through New Year’s resolutions. This year, let’s approach our goals with a fresh perspective – one that blends value-driven change with genuine self-acceptance.
1. Practice Accepting Yourself, as You Are Right Now:
Whilst setting goals for change is helpful, it can sometimes lead to a sense of not being good enough as you are right now. True compassionate change needs to come from a foundation of self-acceptance. Before you set your goals – embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that being human means having strengths and limitations.
2. Identify Your Values
Begin by clarifying what truly matters to you. Reflect on your core values in different life domains—such as health, relationships, career, or personal growth. Resolutions grounded in your values are more meaningful and motivating than superficial or externally driven goals.
3. Set Values-Driven Goals
Frame your resolutions in terms of actions that align with your values. For instance, instead of “lose 10 kgs” a values-driven goal might be “prioritise physical health by exercising regularly and eating nourishing foods.”
4. Break Goals into Manageable Steps
Large, vague resolutions can feel overwhelming. Break your goals into small, actionable steps. If your resolution is to write a book, start with a commitment to write 500 words a day or brainstorm chapter ideas for 10 minutes each evening.
5. Accept Challenges and Discomfort
Recognise that pursuing meaningful goals will involve challenges and discomfort. Instead of avoiding difficult feelings like fear or frustration, practice accepting them as part of the process. Remind yourself that discomfort is temporary and doesn’t define your ability to succeed.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Stay present and engaged with your journey rather than getting stuck in thoughts about past failures or future worries. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you focus on the present moment and your immediate actions.
7. Use Cognitive Defusion
When unhelpful thoughts arise (e.g., “I can’t do this,” “It’s too hard”), practice defusing them. Techniques such as labelling your thoughts (“I’m noticing the thought that…”) or visualizing them floating away like leaves on a stream can reduce their power.
8. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Accept that setbacks and mistakes are inevitable. Instead of striving for perfection, celebrate small wins and focus on consistent effort. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a success.
9. Stay Flexible with Your Goals
Life circumstances can change, and rigid goals may no longer align with your current reality. Be willing to adjust your actions while remaining true to your underlying values. Flexibility ensures that your resolutions stay relevant and achievable.
10. Build Accountability and Support
Share your resolutions with trusted friends, family, or a support group. Regularly check in with them to celebrate progress and navigate obstacles. External accountability can help reinforce your commitment and provide encouragement.
11. Reflect and Recommit Regularly
Periodically review your progress and reconnect with your values. Reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and how your actions align with your intentions. Use setbacks as learning opportunities and recommit to your resolutions with renewed focus.